Being Alive

Why the pursuit of happiness is a lie and why the secret to being happy is simpler than you think

There are two ways you can look at your life. As a sequence of events (states) or as a single living process. Another way to put this is, you can view your life as a series of destinations or as a single journey. Most people tend to view it as the former. And there is a reason for this.

States and events have personalities. For example, if you consider the states of matter, take water for instance. At 0 degrees C water turns to ice. Ice has a distinct personality. It is cold to the touch, hard and brittle. At 100 degrees C water turns to steam. Steam has its own distinct personality as well - it is effervescent, hot and moist.

Now water can be heated or cooled to different temperatures. Water at 50 degrees C is not the same as water at 55 degrees C - but we don’t notice the difference. We only recognize the difference when there is a significant change to the state of water - from liquid to solid or liquid to gas.

In our lives as well, most are orientated to seek changes in state. We are programmed by society to see our lives as a series of milestones - “graduated”, “married”, “parent”, “homeowner”, “executive”, “rich”, “fit”, “successful”, “famous”, “retired”, “happy”, “free”, “enlightened” and so on. Each of these states carries a distinct personality in our minds - we have a clear idea of what we imagine the experience of each one will be like. We then treat the moments of our lives as the means to these various ends.

These moments bleed into one another. Each day feels like a repeat of the previous. Our lives begin to feel like an endless cycle of wash, rinse, dry and repeat. That is, until we hit the next milestone which gives us a contact high and makes life feel meaningful for a while before the race to the next milestone commences.

The problem with this approach is two-fold.