Hihi, you said all my favorite words. On this side of the screen the person feels like hard candy slowly being consumed by the mouth of.. being. I like to think of the candy like a Harry Potter mix of flavors. It’s definitely not pure sugar, lots of ear wax in there too.
Spiritual identity... more and more it sounds like a trap to me. I have been walking very cautiously in this inner space, observing its incongruities with the external clothing that adorns me.
You are building right at the edge. Which few have the eloquence to bring in words. I had begun coming to the conclusion that "selfhood" individual or not is a "social adaptation", the others part of our selves either internalized, resisted, deformed and so on. I assume below that lays, just experience, no self. The question does not even show up to speak. Yet below that, within that, holding up that, is the raw being which somehow cannot be grasped. If I understood correctly, it shows up almost menacing, to consume the adaptations, which trigger all hands on deck. Possibly being the case all the time. It feels like dark matter, silence, but that is felt while being still on this side.
In my view it stands like a force outside of mind, as if some other perceptual aspect is triggered, like an organ responding to its own so to speak.
Interesting, especially the energy flow, sounds like a second awakening. Dreams still the same?
Thanks, Shiv. Beautiful. To illustrate my mind grasping for answers, I have a question about the last paragraph of your essay. What did that 'falling away' of your last vestiges of your spirituality feel like? How did you know/feel it was the 'final surrender?
It was less a surrender and more the loss of the footholds that were propping me up. I felt it somatically - like thin ice giving way. Same river - once frozen, now fluid.
I'm sorry, i guess I wasn't clear. why would letting go of a worldview stop one from writing?
My understanding is that to the extent we solely make use of our finite reasoning, we're caught up in world views. The "writers" of the Upanishads "saw" - intuitively - and transcribed that seeing into language for the mind. Again, to my limited understanding, that is not writing about a worldview but a seeing which is transcribed into something that might appear to be but is not really a "view."
I agree. I guess my comment was born of my own experience with being a person. When i am the mouth instead of the candy, i see the inherent perfection of being and any curiosity or drive (to create) ceases. A world view, the understanding of a definition of a worldview, the drive to ask or argue belong to the candy. Sri Ramakrishna didn’t speak while in samadhi, he spoke when his attention rested in the world. Besides, so much gets lost in translation between the void, the mind and the reader. Accuracy is a fool’s errand, unless purposefully deployed to exhaust the mind.
Very true, but we are raw primal beings existing concurrently in a mortal social world. Rather than either-or, we somehow have to invent bandwidth for both-and. I am sure there is a Buddhist lesson about letting go in there somewhere. 🙏
The clue lies in your admission “I am not witnessing” which you have conflated with “they are not occurring”. The question then becomes not “why are they not occurring concurrently and in harmony?” But rather “why am I not able to perceive the concurrence and harmony?” Something worth investigating.
Hihi, you said all my favorite words. On this side of the screen the person feels like hard candy slowly being consumed by the mouth of.. being. I like to think of the candy like a Harry Potter mix of flavors. It’s definitely not pure sugar, lots of ear wax in there too.
Dear Shiv,
Thank you for this.
"There is just spontaneous emergence as whatever is happening in this moment."
Thank you for sharing all that you do.
Love
Myq
Spiritual identity... more and more it sounds like a trap to me. I have been walking very cautiously in this inner space, observing its incongruities with the external clothing that adorns me.
You are building right at the edge. Which few have the eloquence to bring in words. I had begun coming to the conclusion that "selfhood" individual or not is a "social adaptation", the others part of our selves either internalized, resisted, deformed and so on. I assume below that lays, just experience, no self. The question does not even show up to speak. Yet below that, within that, holding up that, is the raw being which somehow cannot be grasped. If I understood correctly, it shows up almost menacing, to consume the adaptations, which trigger all hands on deck. Possibly being the case all the time. It feels like dark matter, silence, but that is felt while being still on this side.
In my view it stands like a force outside of mind, as if some other perceptual aspect is triggered, like an organ responding to its own so to speak.
Interesting, especially the energy flow, sounds like a second awakening. Dreams still the same?
Interesting you asked. No, dreams not the same - a different quality. And curiously, awareness at times even in the midst of deep dreamless sleep.
Interesting indeed. Have you noticed anything during those times that surprised you? Any observations?
Yes, and the word "spiritual" loses all meaning.
Thanks, Shiv. Beautiful. To illustrate my mind grasping for answers, I have a question about the last paragraph of your essay. What did that 'falling away' of your last vestiges of your spirituality feel like? How did you know/feel it was the 'final surrender?
It was less a surrender and more the loss of the footholds that were propping me up. I felt it somatically - like thin ice giving way. Same river - once frozen, now fluid.
This is also a worldview. What would happen if that was dissolved?
This is not worldview but a transliteration of direct experience which may come across as a worldview simply because that is what language does
like the Rishis!
Then he wouldn’t write and wouldn’t the world be less for it?
I'm sorry, i guess I wasn't clear. why would letting go of a worldview stop one from writing?
My understanding is that to the extent we solely make use of our finite reasoning, we're caught up in world views. The "writers" of the Upanishads "saw" - intuitively - and transcribed that seeing into language for the mind. Again, to my limited understanding, that is not writing about a worldview but a seeing which is transcribed into something that might appear to be but is not really a "view."
I agree. I guess my comment was born of my own experience with being a person. When i am the mouth instead of the candy, i see the inherent perfection of being and any curiosity or drive (to create) ceases. A world view, the understanding of a definition of a worldview, the drive to ask or argue belong to the candy. Sri Ramakrishna didn’t speak while in samadhi, he spoke when his attention rested in the world. Besides, so much gets lost in translation between the void, the mind and the reader. Accuracy is a fool’s errand, unless purposefully deployed to exhaust the mind.
Beautiful, thank you.
Poetry!
And apologies if what I wrote seems too weird!!
Yep, raw being, there’s simply nothing else. The so called journey has ended.
Very true, but we are raw primal beings existing concurrently in a mortal social world. Rather than either-or, we somehow have to invent bandwidth for both-and. I am sure there is a Buddhist lesson about letting go in there somewhere. 🙏
The bandwidth for both already exists
I am not witnessing the two occurring concurrently nor harmoniously. Please explain…
The clue lies in your admission “I am not witnessing” which you have conflated with “they are not occurring”. The question then becomes not “why are they not occurring concurrently and in harmony?” But rather “why am I not able to perceive the concurrence and harmony?” Something worth investigating.
Perhaps, but it seems I am not alone in my predicament. 🙏
its a common phenomenon