The "I" That Cannot Be Seen

How reality is both real and illusory, and why I am neither Ego nor Presence

“Hello Shiv - I was hoping to pick your brain on the idea of illusion. The notion that self is illusory is the basis of many eastern philosophies such as Advaita and some forms of Buddhism. What do you think? Is there such a thing as a self? Or are we figments of our own imaginations?”

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What if I were to tell you that both are true?

That self exists. And we are figments of our own imaginations.

The problem is that when most people consider these sorts of philosophical questions, they approach them through the limited lens of binary reasoning. In binary code, a digit placeholder can be occupied by either a 0 or 1, but not both. If it is occupied by a zero it cannot be a one, and if it is occupied by a one it cannot be a zero.

We tend to think of reality in the same way. In reality, a cat can be either alive or dead. Except, as Schrodinger’s thought experiment that describes how reality works at the quantum level showed us - the cat is both alive AND dead until a conscious observer looks inside the box.

In other words, at the most rudimentary quantum level, reality is not binary. It is a superposition of all possible states that collapse into a single actuality the moment a conscious observer enters the equation. Every instance of reality is simultaneously both a 0 and a 1.

It is not a question of whether existence is real or illusory. It is real and illusory. The simultaneous existence of the real and the illusory, in a state of superposition.

What is the real? Timeless, spacious, presence.

What is the illusory? It is the time-bound, space-bound, thought-based identity.

Self is both. Like Schrodinger’s cat, both alive and dead.

My experience of reality fluctuates throughout the day. From timeless to time-bound, from infinite to limited space, from pure awareness to thought, from being to Shiv - expand, contract. Back and forth, back and forth. Like a rapidly flipping switch that never stops.

0, 1, 1, 0, 1, 0, 0, 1, 0, 0, 1, 0, 1, 1, 0, 1, 0, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0, 0, 1, 1 …

You are asking me which digit I think is true. Is it the 1 or the 0?