I read this at an agnostic 12 step group I attend, with the overall response being "how do I apply this to my life", which struck me as kind of ironic regarding what I took from your post. There is no surrender if there is no battle to begin with. Just be. But that message I guess comes across as counterintuitive to someone in recovery.
Surrender is such a central idea in 12 step programs, but can be difficult to apply in that context when there is no belief in a higher power. I've had many discussions with different people about what that would look like, what am I "surrendering to" if there is nothing to receive and respond to that surrender. It makes sense to stop fighting reality, but when that reality has typically included patterns of destructive behavior it might seem unhealthy to just accept that.
The best I could do when attempting to interpret my take during discussions after the meeting was focus on the inevitability of impermanence, the whole "this too, shall pass" thing. Accept that it's not the destructive patterns which are inevitable, but that life will go on regardless of our attachments to any particular pattern.
I've shared at meetings in the past that the most useful thing I've gotten out of the program is losing the fear of uncertainty, developing the understanding that I'll get through whatever happens, one way or another, and if I don't then I really won't have to worry about it. I just handle anything that pops up as best I can, try my best to not make things harder for myself or others, and ultimately life will take care of itself regardless of what I chose to do. I still have plenty of patterns that are not ideal for living a stress-free life, but I've found I tend to stress less about them at this point. There will always be space for change, and I can accept that just fine.
Ah… the inevitable surrender …ending the war against “destiny” - understanding the only “choice” we ever have is our emotional response to what is… and when we understand our body experience of excited anticipation is virtually the same as “fear” there’s a kind of unraveling, no desire to cling to anything… that is the “surrender” into the flow, the drop in the river no ocean refuses…
♠️🖤♥️♥️ luv your words, Shiv - always shivering the timbers …
This distinction between surrender as strategy and defeat as outcome really cuts through alot of spiritual bypassing. The part about virtues being building blocks of the spiritual ego is provocative but makes sense when you think about how we use 'growth' to avoid actually loosing control. I've definately caught myself framing painful expiriences as opportunities rather than just accepting them as painful. The inevitability framing strips away any heroic narrative which is uncomfortable but probably necessary.
Speechless!
"Suffering acts as the friction point between the narrative of our own sovereignty and the inevitability of what is." Wow.
I read this at an agnostic 12 step group I attend, with the overall response being "how do I apply this to my life", which struck me as kind of ironic regarding what I took from your post. There is no surrender if there is no battle to begin with. Just be. But that message I guess comes across as counterintuitive to someone in recovery.
Surrender is such a central idea in 12 step programs, but can be difficult to apply in that context when there is no belief in a higher power. I've had many discussions with different people about what that would look like, what am I "surrendering to" if there is nothing to receive and respond to that surrender. It makes sense to stop fighting reality, but when that reality has typically included patterns of destructive behavior it might seem unhealthy to just accept that.
The best I could do when attempting to interpret my take during discussions after the meeting was focus on the inevitability of impermanence, the whole "this too, shall pass" thing. Accept that it's not the destructive patterns which are inevitable, but that life will go on regardless of our attachments to any particular pattern.
I've shared at meetings in the past that the most useful thing I've gotten out of the program is losing the fear of uncertainty, developing the understanding that I'll get through whatever happens, one way or another, and if I don't then I really won't have to worry about it. I just handle anything that pops up as best I can, try my best to not make things harder for myself or others, and ultimately life will take care of itself regardless of what I chose to do. I still have plenty of patterns that are not ideal for living a stress-free life, but I've found I tend to stress less about them at this point. There will always be space for change, and I can accept that just fine.
Thanks for sharing
Ah… the inevitable surrender …ending the war against “destiny” - understanding the only “choice” we ever have is our emotional response to what is… and when we understand our body experience of excited anticipation is virtually the same as “fear” there’s a kind of unraveling, no desire to cling to anything… that is the “surrender” into the flow, the drop in the river no ocean refuses…
♠️🖤♥️♥️ luv your words, Shiv - always shivering the timbers …
January couldn’t have been any better than this, Shiv. This was like a blade to the neck for the ego that had knelt and shape shifted yet once again.
This has singularly been one of the most defining pieces of the journey.
PROFOUND
This distinction between surrender as strategy and defeat as outcome really cuts through alot of spiritual bypassing. The part about virtues being building blocks of the spiritual ego is provocative but makes sense when you think about how we use 'growth' to avoid actually loosing control. I've definately caught myself framing painful expiriences as opportunities rather than just accepting them as painful. The inevitability framing strips away any heroic narrative which is uncomfortable but probably necessary.
What a beautifully written piece of truth. Thank you for sharing these words. I will be re-reading this many times. 🕊️
lol so all this time the voice in this skull has been fighting a phoney war? The absurdity of it.
This was like a movie with a stunning twist at the end. Simply beautiful, as always Shiv❤️