The Joy Within The Ordinary

Why the desire to be a spiritual teacher or healer is not a natural outcome of Awakening

“Shiv – what does one do after awakening? It seems to be the norm for anyone who has had an awakening experience to become a teacher, guide, healer or savior of some sort. Is this necessary or even beneficial? I ask because I experienced something similar to your awakening a few years ago and have struggled to figure out what purpose I am to serve now, if any…”

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At night, when we dream – our dreams are filled with sensational events. We rarely ever dream about mundane things like brushing our teeth or cooking a meal. The contents of our dreams tend to be intriguing and dramatic – like falling from a building, running from a monster or traveling to an exotic realm. Yet, when we wake up in the morning, what kinds of events do we engage in? Are they not mundane activities like brushing our teeth and preparing our clothes for the day? Do we jump out of bed attempting to stop ravenous tigers from eating us? Unlikely.

Spiritual awakening is no different. When we awaken, we see that reality is far less sensational, far less dramatic and far less personal than what we had previously imagined it to be. And the types of activities we are drawn to engage in are generally of a far more mundane nature, so to speak.

One of the hallmarks of an authentic awakening is the recognition that no one needs to be saved. Reality is not punitive. Nothing is personal. We suffer in direct proportion to the ignorance we manifest. The suffering then catalyzes the impetus within us to dispel the ignorance. This, simply put, is the process of enlightenment. It is the act of progressively shining light in the dark recesses of our minds where things go bump and hurt us. If things that bumped didn’t hurt us, what motivation would we have to shine the light?

Suffering cannot be prevented. It may be temporarily avoided, but eventually the piper always gets paid. Reality is a zero-sum game and there is no gaming it. There are a multitude of subtle checks and balances that are inherent to its makeup. Awakening makes this starkly obvious to the observer. Attempting to act otherwise is like trying to make a stone float in the air with your mind. The laws of consciousness are as reliable as the laws of gravity. And although they may not be scientifically documented they are clearly evident to anyone who observes them closely. You don’t have to be Newton to realize that what goes up must come down.

So, anyone who believes they have something of profound importance to teach or share with the world following an awakening experience has likely not fully awakened or has simply propagated another kind of delusion for themselves. If one does feel motivated to teach, it must feel to them as mundane and insignificant as brushing their teeth or preparing their clothes for the day. In other words - absolutely unsensational and promoting no feeling of self-importance whatsoever from having taken on the role. Otherwise, it is just another egotistical sham. A ruse the mind has created in order to generate an aura of sensationalism, an air of the dramatic, a sense of immense personal significance.

These are hallmarks of the dream state, not awakening.

That is not to say that a person claiming to be a teacher or healer must be mistrusted. Just that discernment is critical, and a healthy amount of doubt and skepticism should be exercised. A genuine teacher or healer rarely appears to be a teacher or healer.

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Eleven years ago, I suddenly developed severe neck and shoulder pain one day. At first, I attributed it to soreness after working out but over the next two weeks the pain became excruciating. I had trouble sleeping at night and during the day the pain remained relentless. Painkillers could do nothing for me.

My family doctor prescribed a cortisone shot. That didn’t help. I went to a massage therapist, a chiropractor, a physiotherapist – each of these brought only temporary relief. Over time, I became desperate. A friend recommended I visit a Chinese master acupuncturist and spiritual healer she swore by. I was skeptical but, having no choices remaining, I agreed. I made an appointment for the very next day.

Prior to arriving, I had envisioned meeting a wizened elderly Sifu dressed in shaolin robes living a monk-like existence. But when I arrived at the residential address and rang the doorbell, I quickly realized that the only aspect of my imagination that had been accurate was the ‘elderly’ part.

Master Ting (as he was called) answered the door in an old t-shirt and boxer shorts. He simply nodded and waved me in. I walked into a cluttered home with old appliances and books stacked against the walls in the corridors. I asked him if he was in the midst of moving and he shook his head seemingly confused at why I would ask such a question.

He beckoned me to follow him to his small (and equally crowded) kitchen where he sat down at a small table. He opened a bag of white bread and a jar of peanut butter and proceed to lather a slice. He then folded it and took an enormous bite the size of approximately half the sandwich. He looked at me gaping and mumbled through his full mouth in a thick accent,

“Breakfast. Want some?”

I shook my head, speechless. I had expected bamboo plants and a gentle waterfall, not a guy in his boxers eating peanut butter straight out of the jar like an animal. I began regretting my decision and planning excuses in my mind of how I was going to get out of this. Sensing my apprehension, he suddenly got up, leaving his partially eaten sandwich on the table,

“Come,” he said gruffly.

I followed him into a room, that appeared to serve multiple purposes. There was a desk on one side crowded with documents, bills, bank statements and such lying exposed in disorganized piles. On another side was a laundry machine, a drying rack with several shirts hanging on it and an ironing board. And in the center of the room was a massage table. The room was poorly lit and the only positive thing about it was that it smelled like fresh lavender.

From somewhere inside his desk he produced a plastic sheet, the kind frequently seen covering the tables at Chinese restaurants, and spread it on the massage table. He then asked me to take off my shirt.

I will openly admit, I feared for my life. The scene seemed straight out of the set of a serial killer film. It is a testament to how excruciating my pain was that I was willing to gamble with my life as I proceeded to take my shirt off and lie on the plastic sheet. It immediately stuck to my sweaty torso and I shuddered at the thought of having to peel it off eventually.

Master Ting’s hands hovered over my body, mere inches from my skin, and he moved them up and down scanning from the back of my head to the base of my spine and back. Finally, he stopped above the area in my neck and shoulders that the pain was radiating from.

“Dark energy. Trapped. Cannot move. You are suffering much,” he stated.

“Yes”, I said. “It’s been very painful.”

“Not physical. This, soul pain. Bad energy in your spirit.”

His words stunned me. For a few months following the birth of my first daughter, I had begun suffering from depression. I would later come to discover that “male post-partum depression” was a common but rarely talked about phenomenon, that affected many new fathers. I had no idea such a thing was even possible at the time. The pain in my neck and shoulders had begun a few weeks after the depression hit.

He seemed to sense my apprehension and patted me gently on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry. I fix you.”

Over the next two hours, using an advanced form of acupuncture I have never since experienced, he proceeded to manipulate my meridians in ways that made my body feel like a puppet on a string - no longer in my control, moving, turning and twitching to his whims.  After the session was done he simply stated,

“Three days, pain go away. Sadness also go away.”

Thanking him, I paid him his nominal fee in cash. I attempted to tip him but he shoved my hand back annoyed and shook his head. I then followed him back to the kitchen and watched him pick up his leftover peanut butter sandwich.

His eyes twinkling, he smiled for the first time, “Lunch.”

He then sat down, put on his reading glasses, and picked up a Chinese newspaper and began reading it. Standing there awkwardly, I looked around, then walked myself to the door and left.

Exactly three days later, the pain left and did not return. My depression also disappeared.

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There are awakened teachers and healers in the world. There are also awakened carpenters, taxi drivers, engineers and janitors in the world. Awakening does not dictate one’s occupation or vocation. It is one’s own personality and character disposition that does.

If one has a natural propensity to care for people, then chances are that after awakening one may well become a healer. If one has a natural propensity to ideate or to philosophize, then chances are that after awakening one may well become a teacher. Yet, if one is fundamentally drawn to mechanical things and processes, then they will likely continue to innovate or engineer.  Or if one is fascinated by finance and economics, chances are they will continue to focus on building businesses and wealth.

Life being a zero-sum game – all options hold value. An awakened person knows this to be true without a doubt. There is no hierarchy in how purpose manifests. Being a wise spiritual teacher is on par with being a good janitor, an artful chef or a knowledgeable architect.

In fact, maintaining spiritual clarity while engaging in the world is far more challenging to do in a spiritual profession when compared to a worldly profession. Because in a worldly profession, it is easier to see that you are part of an organizational construct built around certain societal principles, a kind of consensus story. But in a spiritual profession, it is more difficult to see that. You can feel completely convinced that you are maintaining your spiritual clarity while becoming lost in identification with your role because of the image students project upon you and the validation you receive from them.

It’s like needing to pee while you are dreaming. If, in your dream, you are engaged in some unrelated activity, you might subconsciously remind yourself that you need to wake up at some point to go pee. However, if in your dream, you imagine that you are peeing, then it will be much harder to wake up to go to the bathroom, because you are convinced that you have already done so!

So, to answer your question about whether it is necessary or beneficial to become a spiritual teacher or healer after an awakening, the answer is:

It is irrelevant to the awakening.

What a person does vocationally is driven by their personality, character and values - both before and after awakening.

For, awakening doesn’t motivate a human being to aspire to profound experiences or extraordinary achievements.

It reveals the joy within the ordinary and then motivates one simply to dwell there.