One of the most fascinating aspects of this human existence for me is how my mind relates to the real world.
There is this realm of thoughts, emotions, memories, projections, hopes and fears that acts as a universe unto itself and feels highly personal in nature. And then there is the physical universe of matter, time, space and organic life that feels totally impersonal in nature. And the two appear to coexist in a somewhat odd relationship with one another.
The physical world has no interest, preference or understanding of what happens in the mental world. Nature seems to have no awareness of our feelings, hopes, dreams and ideas. The mental world, on the other hand, is concerned with the physical insofar as its own self-interests are served. The physical world is a resource for the mind, nothing more.
It’s like a reluctant couple who are forced to be in a relationship with one another because of the bastard child they produced out of wedlock. We are those bastard children trapped between the conflicting priorities of the mental and the physical. Whom should we show favor to? Mother Nature or Father Mind?
We, the children of this strange and awkward union, are forever straddling these two realities, knowing full well that mother acts as if father doesn’t exist, while father is interested only in exploiting mother for his own purposes.
And here’s the delicious irony. Not only do we have to live this dysfunctional proposition but we are fundamentally motivated to seek happiness in it. What an absurd fucking joke!
We intuitively realize that we cannot be happy unless there is some semblance of order and harmony to our experience. And because the interaction between the two realities is the source of endless contradiction, confusion and conflict, the easiest way to manifest that harmony is to show preference to one parent over the other. We do this by anchoring our sense of identity in one of these two worlds.
Anchored in the mind, we become egotistical in nature, driven primarily by self-interest and focused on resource acquisition and management. Everything becomes a resource to us - objects, places, people and experiences. We use these resources to acquire more resources and thus life becomes a series of transactions by which we gradually increase our perceived self-worth.
Yet, eventually this kind of value proposition falls flat because although it can deliver everything the mind desires, it cannot deliver the one thing the mind cannot have by nature of its own inherent architecture - lasting fulfilment. Because the mind is designed to incessantly seek - it cannot feel fulfilled for long as that fulfilment begins to subvert the very purpose of its existence.
Thus, a pervasive feeling of hollowness and dissatisfaction results. And the individual realizes that happiness cannot be found by anchoring in the mental reality.
Some people, realizing this the hard way, then make a bid to align with the other parent. They try and dissociate from the personal and merge into the impersonal through spiritual practice, asceticism, renunciation and living reclusive lives in Nature - distancing themselves from society, community, relationships and other bonds that are inseparable aspects of what makes us human.
Yet, here also the value proposition fails. For although it brings peace, quietude and a life relatively free from conflict, it lacks the marrow of human experience that is found in the relationships we form with one another. There is an arid quality to this kind of existence which then breeds a unique brand of dissatisfaction. And so, the individual comes to realize that happiness cannot be found by remaining anchored purely in the natural world either.
Eventually, every individual must arrive at the following realization:
There is no such thing as lasting happiness. Happiness is the result of a constant ongoing negotiation between the two realities that perpetually shifts from one moment to the next. And we, the bastards of existence, are faced with the Sisyphean task of mediating that negotiation between our estranged parents. The only way to keep an open channel of communication is if we are able to, first and foremost, acknowledge both perspectives as equally valid (albeit wildly contradictory), and approach both with acceptance and non-judgment. What this means is that there can be no favoritism nor bias in the equation for this automatically skews the balance.
Favoritism can look like prioritizing our own thoughts, feelings, desires and fears to the extent that the external world becomes nothing more than a tool by which we attempt to fulfill those priorities and we have no motivation to be present in the world. Favoritism can also look like prioritizing “being present” and “in the moment” to the extent that we dismiss our thoughts, feelings, hopes and fears as nothing more than “stories” or “illusions”. In both cases, we cease to be unbiased and the mediation breaks down.
Happiness is a delicate balancing act in which nothing in our experience is denied, dismissed or demoted as insignificant. Whether a thought or an experience of presence, whether a dark emotion or a moment of being in communion with nature, whether a sense of isolation and separation or a feeling of oneness with all-that-is - the key isn’t what is happening, but the happening itself.
Whether a moment of mind or a moment of world, whether a moment of being lost in thought or being present to what is, whether a moment of contraction or one of expansion - happiness lies is the acceptance that it is all transitory. It all is.
When we are with mother, we can enjoy her company. And when we are with father, we can enjoy his. Yet, we are not defined by either mother or father. We are wholly ourselves at all times.
When we are present and mindful we can enjoy the expansive sense of well-being that brings. When we are lost in thoughts and emotions, we can enjoy the kaleidoscope of sensory experiences that brings. Yet, we are neither defined by our minds nor the physical world. We are wholly ourselves.
We are still bastards of a bizarre and inexplicable existence.
But at least we are happy bastards.
I am a big fan of Philip Shepherd's book 'Radical Wholeness' which goes into great detail about the body/mind split you describe. Philip is a body worker and has designed simple exercises to release ourselves from our cultural "tyranny of the head" and to bring awareness to our repressed sensual wisdom.
He describes our two main centers of consciousness - our rational brain in our head and our intuitive "gut-brain" in our pelvic bowl. The two consciousness centers are linked via the vagus nerve which has been receiving a lot of attention lately regarding trauma therapy and anxiety reduction. Optimally, one would enjoy a happy balance between the logical, rational mind center and the sensual, intuitive gut-mind. The problem is modern society is skewed towards rational thinking (father) and dismissive, even shaming, about our unfettered sensual emotions (mother) lacking logical "evidence."
The advent of Artificial Intelligence and the problem of "hallucinations" - random 'filler material' to make up for lack of information in the data bank. One of the problems of the "tyranny of the head brain" is it is often cut off from realtime sensual data and logically fills in the gaps with illusions in the absence of real experience from our senses.
I would contend that much of the polarization we experience in society today is linked to this estrangement between our father-head and our mother-body. Cut off from our senses, we are free to imagine and hallucinate all sorts of seemingly 'logical' scenarios which are just as hallucinogenic as the artificial intelligence we created. Sadly, our explosion of technology widens the schism between brain and body leaving us drowning in information while parched for knowledge and deep wisdom. Because it is easier to 'imagine' than to openly 'experience' life, our rational minds will naturally chase any new shiny object to avoid messy introspection and open vulnerability. As the cartoon character Pogo said: "I have seen the enemy and he is us."
https://embodiedpresent.com/pages/radical-wholeness-workshop
I guess that explains a fantasy I have where I live in a big house. Parts of it are falling down and unkempt, while other parts are ultra-modern and luxurious. I waft between the two in a kind of harmony, where the wilds of nature and the manicured exist together.