He proposes there is 'method' to our madness as we embark on journeys of deep transformation. He identifies three stages - Ending (separation, dying, loss), Neutral Zone (chaos, confusion), and Renewal (rebirth, new beginning). For most of us, particularly male Westerners, it is the Neutral Zone that is the most difficult. Lasting change is a subconscious process and to abandon our rationality in favor of embracing our deeper 'wisdom' is terrifying as you describe. You are fortunate in having a sense of deep faith and meditation practices.
I went for over two years unemployed and probably another year or so chronically underemployed. Like the alchemist you mention, I spent those years quietly burning away the dross of social programming to refine the valuable ore deeply buried. For me it was a journey into faith and deep trust. The words of Sting's song come to mind:
this nugget in the middle really captures something resonant for me:
"When my meditation is done, I find my day transformed. I am filled with a sense that all-is-deeply-well. I am overwhelmed by gratitude (often to the point of tears) for the time I am able to spend with my wife, my children, my dog, with nature. I am filled with reverence for life. Every moment feels utterly sacred. I go to bed filled with a deep peace and existential security.
And then the next morning I wake up in a cold sweat and panic again and the entire process repeats itself."
Thanks for sharing your journey this far with us, Shiv. It brings great peace in a moment where I’m feeling a lot of uncertainty. I do hope this is the prelude to even greater satisfaction in your life.
I often move from seeking improvement to comparison with another person who I take - rightly or wrongly — to be offering advice on how to improve. That happened reading this post. Your story here struck me as similar in the most significant ways to what’s happening to me. The very early morning reading of this highlighted the dance among moods high and low or merely seen. Another thought dance is about finding effective techniques for self-improvement or just allowing whatever process is occurring. All good. Appreciate your offering. Thanks.
Shiv, your essay and description of the subconscious 'alchemy' of your process reminded me of William Bridges' book 'Transitions - Making Sense of Life's Changes.' https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=Transitions+book&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
He proposes there is 'method' to our madness as we embark on journeys of deep transformation. He identifies three stages - Ending (separation, dying, loss), Neutral Zone (chaos, confusion), and Renewal (rebirth, new beginning). For most of us, particularly male Westerners, it is the Neutral Zone that is the most difficult. Lasting change is a subconscious process and to abandon our rationality in favor of embracing our deeper 'wisdom' is terrifying as you describe. You are fortunate in having a sense of deep faith and meditation practices.
I went for over two years unemployed and probably another year or so chronically underemployed. Like the alchemist you mention, I spent those years quietly burning away the dross of social programming to refine the valuable ore deeply buried. For me it was a journey into faith and deep trust. The words of Sting's song come to mind:
"On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are"
Great comment John
Amazing how much that sounds like me over the last 8 years.
The human condition is a universal phenomenon
dear shiv,
another beautiful piece, thank you for sharing!
this nugget in the middle really captures something resonant for me:
"When my meditation is done, I find my day transformed. I am filled with a sense that all-is-deeply-well. I am overwhelmed by gratitude (often to the point of tears) for the time I am able to spend with my wife, my children, my dog, with nature. I am filled with reverence for life. Every moment feels utterly sacred. I go to bed filled with a deep peace and existential security.
And then the next morning I wake up in a cold sweat and panic again and the entire process repeats itself."
thank you for sharing!
much love
myq
Thanks for sharing your journey this far with us, Shiv. It brings great peace in a moment where I’m feeling a lot of uncertainty. I do hope this is the prelude to even greater satisfaction in your life.
Perhaps. And perhaps that greater satisfaction will eventually lead to greater dissatisfaction. And the beat goes on da da dum da dum…
I often move from seeking improvement to comparison with another person who I take - rightly or wrongly — to be offering advice on how to improve. That happened reading this post. Your story here struck me as similar in the most significant ways to what’s happening to me. The very early morning reading of this highlighted the dance among moods high and low or merely seen. Another thought dance is about finding effective techniques for self-improvement or just allowing whatever process is occurring. All good. Appreciate your offering. Thanks.
It’s all just a dance anyway. There’s no wrong way to dance…
Interesting: This is the first time I feel an impulse to «give advice», that is: supporting the one handling the lead to get out of his role.
Yes roles are fickle. They come and go like the tides. Nothing worth holding on to…