Live the paradox... "Essence cannot be experienced without a form to convey it. And the form cannot manifest without its essence. My material life is spiritual. And my spiritual life is material."
You’ve been popping one after another, Shiv, that are just so utterly beautiful and resonate with me to my core.
And it kinda makes me sad. Because THIS is the kind of life I want. And it’s the kind of life I know I could have. But I’m too much of a coward to go in all deep and feel and fight and cry in all its fullness. My mind is all tied up with thoughts, trying to control things. I have an ASS TON of shame inside of me. Even about this. Making this another mandate.
I just want to live MY life to the fullest. On my own fucking terms.
Andrea - I understand you. Yet, wanting "this kind of life" is just another way of becoming fixated on outcomes. And that is the trap. It validates that aspect within you that craves something other than THIS. It becomes the very barrier to that intimacy you desire.
Instead of wanting 'this kind of life' can you see if you can honor THIS life? As it is? Without setting any conditions on it?
I don't like myself for writing this comment, or the energy behind it. I stand by the actual words. But I don't like that this issue still has so much charge for me, and that it makes me so angry. Which is the equivalent of disempowering myself. Making myself a victim, and blaming THEM.
I am grateful that I felt allergic to the gurus after waking up. I'm grateful that something wise in my system felt revulsion. And I'm grateful that I serendipitously found a different path. That even though it was painful. Forced me to go towards where all our true power lies.
Thank you for this wonderful piece, Shiv. So much resonates, particularly this: "Detachment to me does not mean 'I don't care'. It means 'I care so much that I don't mind what happens.'"
But as a fellow dad, there's a question I have around this. I've ridden on the ambulance at one point or another with both of my children (who came through these situations, thankfully, fine). On those rides, though, my deep attachment to them drove me to be extremely attached to the outcome of them being okay, for them to survive the current crisis.
Part of my attachment as a dad means, of course, wanting my kids to be okay, to feel safe, and to outlive me—I hope by many years. When that outcome seems threatened in a moment of crisis, or even outside of crisis, more generally, I could never claim not to mind what happens re. their safety and survival. My attachment to them means that I mind very, very much.
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on that. Thank you!
In the meditation practice I did for a decade, Sahaj Marg, this was described as the essence of bhakti yoga, a devotional yoga practice that finds God (or whatever name you want to use for that energetic sense of being) in the mundane activities of the householder.
Washing dishes, walking the dog, wrangling your child, arguing with your coworker, all these human activities have the divine within them. As you noted, detachment is not not caring about these activities, their purpose, or their end goals, but in not being 'moved' by them in the sense of oh no, this is happening to me, and I don't like it! But in the sense of 'this is happening' and realizing these things are the cracks the light shines through.
We can be devoted to our humanity, because these boring activities allow our minds to be at rest, and this creates the space for inspiration to flow.
One of the clearest ways I’ve come to understand detachment is through it’s near enemy, love.
Love is letting be, in wildly oversimplified terms, whereas attachment—while it can look similar from the outside—is nothing like letting be.
For consideration: I think dispassion might get closer to what we mean by detachment, free from associations with the word. We tend to view a detached person as antisocial, and detachment as unfeeling.
Live the paradox... "Essence cannot be experienced without a form to convey it. And the form cannot manifest without its essence. My material life is spiritual. And my spiritual life is material."
You’ve been popping one after another, Shiv, that are just so utterly beautiful and resonate with me to my core.
And it kinda makes me sad. Because THIS is the kind of life I want. And it’s the kind of life I know I could have. But I’m too much of a coward to go in all deep and feel and fight and cry in all its fullness. My mind is all tied up with thoughts, trying to control things. I have an ASS TON of shame inside of me. Even about this. Making this another mandate.
I just want to live MY life to the fullest. On my own fucking terms.
Just being honest.
Andrea - I understand you. Yet, wanting "this kind of life" is just another way of becoming fixated on outcomes. And that is the trap. It validates that aspect within you that craves something other than THIS. It becomes the very barrier to that intimacy you desire.
Instead of wanting 'this kind of life' can you see if you can honor THIS life? As it is? Without setting any conditions on it?
If someone wants to go sit on a mountain singing Kumbaya. Whats that to me ?
It's when they peddle the way of life they've chosen as THE answer.
Cos thats all it is. A chosen way of life.
Cos what this is, can't be sold. It already is, and we are all already it. So how can it be sold ?
A few years ago, I had the thought that it's as ridiculous as selling air.
Then someone pointed out that there is actually even a market for that.
Google "fresh air for sale" ????
These gurus make up a problem. And give it out for free. So they can charge you for the solution. It's a good business model.....
Utter nutters.
I don't like myself for writing this comment, or the energy behind it. I stand by the actual words. But I don't like that this issue still has so much charge for me, and that it makes me so angry. Which is the equivalent of disempowering myself. Making myself a victim, and blaming THEM.
I am grateful that I felt allergic to the gurus after waking up. I'm grateful that something wise in my system felt revulsion. And I'm grateful that I serendipitously found a different path. That even though it was painful. Forced me to go towards where all our true power lies.
Inside. It's inside me. It's inside all of us.
Thank you for this wonderful piece, Shiv. So much resonates, particularly this: "Detachment to me does not mean 'I don't care'. It means 'I care so much that I don't mind what happens.'"
But as a fellow dad, there's a question I have around this. I've ridden on the ambulance at one point or another with both of my children (who came through these situations, thankfully, fine). On those rides, though, my deep attachment to them drove me to be extremely attached to the outcome of them being okay, for them to survive the current crisis.
Part of my attachment as a dad means, of course, wanting my kids to be okay, to feel safe, and to outlive me—I hope by many years. When that outcome seems threatened in a moment of crisis, or even outside of crisis, more generally, I could never claim not to mind what happens re. their safety and survival. My attachment to them means that I mind very, very much.
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on that. Thank you!
Rob - that is a good question and relevant to many readers. I think it deserves its own article. Stay tuned.
In the meditation practice I did for a decade, Sahaj Marg, this was described as the essence of bhakti yoga, a devotional yoga practice that finds God (or whatever name you want to use for that energetic sense of being) in the mundane activities of the householder.
Washing dishes, walking the dog, wrangling your child, arguing with your coworker, all these human activities have the divine within them. As you noted, detachment is not not caring about these activities, their purpose, or their end goals, but in not being 'moved' by them in the sense of oh no, this is happening to me, and I don't like it! But in the sense of 'this is happening' and realizing these things are the cracks the light shines through.
We can be devoted to our humanity, because these boring activities allow our minds to be at rest, and this creates the space for inspiration to flow.
dear shiv,
thank you for sharing this!
i very much appreciate these lines in particular:
"detachment to me does not mean “I don’t care”.
It means 'I care so much that I don’t mind what happens.'
In other words, I am so deeply immersed and in love with what is happening, I do not care about what the final outcome of any of it will be."
and this is a lot of F(un):
"A LIFE becomes a LI_E the more you give an F for the outcomes."
thank you as always!
much love
myq
Beautifully put.
One of the clearest ways I’ve come to understand detachment is through it’s near enemy, love.
Love is letting be, in wildly oversimplified terms, whereas attachment—while it can look similar from the outside—is nothing like letting be.
For consideration: I think dispassion might get closer to what we mean by detachment, free from associations with the word. We tend to view a detached person as antisocial, and detachment as unfeeling.