In my experience, the most productive encounters with "the shadow" came mostly (fast & furious!) in the post-awakening integration years, only when a generous helping of (maturity?) acceptance, gratitude, love - even joy - "helped the medicine go down," over & over.
And once seen, that was that.
No more self-improvement projects, running away from the shame/broken heart up into the head to turn the nugget of awareness back into the kind of "puzzles/problems/predicament" that the mind craves (& analysts love).
Now there was only a slice of orphaned awareness lovingly invited in from the cold shadow(s), to take a seat around the warmth of the blazing heart/hearth within, embraced by everyone else "in here".
Even the "inherent & inherited" bouncer-types guarding the gate - the fear-based separate-self/selves ("conditioning," defenses, etc) eventually grew tired of the job, finally worn out/worn down into a much needed rest, a welcome retirement from believing herself/themselves to be an actual entity with an actual job (of securing the perimeter).
Now having been presented with the proverbial gold watch, the separate-self sense is welcomed within the circle of warmth, taking her place among the other senses.
No more "painful, ... repulsive, ... terrifying and ... disheartening ... facing your own shadow.... every vulnerability, every shame, every inferiority, every feeling of unworthiness or incompetence, of shallowness, of envy, of greed, of lust, of fear and insufficiency one feels..."
No more does the living-life-within "cope with the vicissitudes" of the self-same living-life without. There's only the ever-present & delicious spaciousness of unfolding love, light, life...and when it gets kinda cramped inside again, another wall (of separation) comes crumbling down!
Just last week it happened (again!) in "my' life.😁🥳
It's as if the separate-self (survival) sense thought it had a job to do - to keep the lights on - unable to appreciate that it was just a tool, one of the many cool ways that Life uses to take care of Her own.
And having kept us alive thus far, it involutes or integrates
Perhaps this is my own reinterpretation what a Master was purported to say in Matthew 25:23, "Well done, good and trustworthy servant; you have shown you are trustworthy in small things; I will trust you with greater; come and join in your master's happiness."
There are no bad/unwelcome servants, no one "to be cast out into the darkness" as in the above Christian story of The Talents. If the poor ole' ego weren't so maligned, perhaps it would gladly retire, coming home (to the heart) sooner!
In my case, I believed myself to be what was in fact just a collection of all the random flotsam & jetsam of my cultural conditioning - filtered through family, TV, school, church, jobs, etc. And it was this that seemingly needed purging in serial breakdowns/breakthroughs that I didn't realize were really purifications or preparations for the big "AHA" moment of SEEING at age 50.
What is there to lose? In my experience, a Life only partially lived, believing the separate-self sense to be an actual separate self/entity.
What's been gained? In one sense, nothing; no-thing in it for "me" anyway.🤣
In another sense? Besides clarity, receptivity and allowing...Life to be that which It "already, only and always" was/IS and could ever BE?
Peace. The kind that by-passeth all understanding.
I am buzzing with all this resonance... just tonight that beautiful Ram Dass message popped up in my head - Be Here Now. & I was just writing about being an orphan (literal and metaphysical). I get moments of that peace that you speak about, and holy hot pockets, that is the stuff that dreams are made of!
This may be a tenuous link, but it makes me think of the old fish joke: Two young fish swim by an older fish. The older fish says, 'Morning, boys, how's the water?' The two young fish swim on, and eventually one turns to the other and says, 'What the hell is water?'
The moth in your story is like the fish; the artificial lightbulb is the 'dirty water'. It's so hard to even be aware of the water, or the 'reality' we exhibit. We often don't notice that artificial lightbulb (social ideals, performance), and lose our shadow, authentic self, and the subtle light of the moon and stars.
The link isn’t tenuous at all Jeff. The self is the real world we inhabit. What we call ‘the world’ is mostly its projection. Yet we inhabit the world believing it to be concrete and force the self to adjust to it instead.
You didn’t just turn off a porch light. You turned off the projector of illusion. You set the moth free, and in doing so, offered us all a way out of the fluorescent trap of curated lives and sanitized spiritualities.
The moth wasn’t lost. It was disoriented by a counterfeit sun. Just like the rest of us. You remembered what most forget. Real vision begins when your eyes adjust to the dark.
May we all have the courage to stop chasing brightness and instead walk barefoot into our shadowed garden, where the stars are still speaking.
Wow! To transform a lost moth into a metaphor for the modern human condition is brilliant.
What came to me was how our attempts at "enlightenment" may be blinding us from our goal. Perhaps that is just another 'porch light' distracting us from our shadowy wisdom?
Thank you for your insights. It reminds me of work I have yet to do. On a more mundane level, with the introduction of LED public lighting there are no more dark nights for anybody.
As long as the woods are at least fifty miles from a residential area...
Sorry, this is one of my hobby-horses. It's almost as if those in charge want to kill the human religious instinct by despoiling the grandeur and awesomeness of the nigh sky.
Gracias SHIV. Mirar nuestra fascinación por las luces exteriores, mirar cómo le entregamos todo el poder de nuestra atención a la ilusión de los fuegos artificiales del mundo, mirar y mirar, hasta darnos cuenta que la Vida solo espera que le demos nuestro consentimiento, que le digamos que “Si” a su vasta plenitud de luces y sombras, de noches y días Gracias 🙏🏼
beautiful analogy. And so vulnerable, honest, and raw. this one feels unique in a different way because you openly confessed personal things - some of which I immediately recognized that I experienced and experience too.
You speak truth.
In my experience, the most productive encounters with "the shadow" came mostly (fast & furious!) in the post-awakening integration years, only when a generous helping of (maturity?) acceptance, gratitude, love - even joy - "helped the medicine go down," over & over.
And once seen, that was that.
No more self-improvement projects, running away from the shame/broken heart up into the head to turn the nugget of awareness back into the kind of "puzzles/problems/predicament" that the mind craves (& analysts love).
Now there was only a slice of orphaned awareness lovingly invited in from the cold shadow(s), to take a seat around the warmth of the blazing heart/hearth within, embraced by everyone else "in here".
Even the "inherent & inherited" bouncer-types guarding the gate - the fear-based separate-self/selves ("conditioning," defenses, etc) eventually grew tired of the job, finally worn out/worn down into a much needed rest, a welcome retirement from believing herself/themselves to be an actual entity with an actual job (of securing the perimeter).
Now having been presented with the proverbial gold watch, the separate-self sense is welcomed within the circle of warmth, taking her place among the other senses.
No more "painful, ... repulsive, ... terrifying and ... disheartening ... facing your own shadow.... every vulnerability, every shame, every inferiority, every feeling of unworthiness or incompetence, of shallowness, of envy, of greed, of lust, of fear and insufficiency one feels..."
No more does the living-life-within "cope with the vicissitudes" of the self-same living-life without. There's only the ever-present & delicious spaciousness of unfolding love, light, life...and when it gets kinda cramped inside again, another wall (of separation) comes crumbling down!
Just last week it happened (again!) in "my' life.😁🥳
It's as if the separate-self (survival) sense thought it had a job to do - to keep the lights on - unable to appreciate that it was just a tool, one of the many cool ways that Life uses to take care of Her own.
And having kept us alive thus far, it involutes or integrates
Perhaps this is my own reinterpretation what a Master was purported to say in Matthew 25:23, "Well done, good and trustworthy servant; you have shown you are trustworthy in small things; I will trust you with greater; come and join in your master's happiness."
There are no bad/unwelcome servants, no one "to be cast out into the darkness" as in the above Christian story of The Talents. If the poor ole' ego weren't so maligned, perhaps it would gladly retire, coming home (to the heart) sooner!
In my case, I believed myself to be what was in fact just a collection of all the random flotsam & jetsam of my cultural conditioning - filtered through family, TV, school, church, jobs, etc. And it was this that seemingly needed purging in serial breakdowns/breakthroughs that I didn't realize were really purifications or preparations for the big "AHA" moment of SEEING at age 50.
What is there to lose? In my experience, a Life only partially lived, believing the separate-self sense to be an actual separate self/entity.
What's been gained? In one sense, nothing; no-thing in it for "me" anyway.🤣
In another sense? Besides clarity, receptivity and allowing...Life to be that which It "already, only and always" was/IS and could ever BE?
Peace. The kind that by-passeth all understanding.
AND...
I get to BE here-now, too!🤗
Beautiful Cheryl. Thanks for sharing
Beautifully described Cheryl.
That is a dagger in the heart. In a good way. Thank You!!!!
I am buzzing with all this resonance... just tonight that beautiful Ram Dass message popped up in my head - Be Here Now. & I was just writing about being an orphan (literal and metaphysical). I get moments of that peace that you speak about, and holy hot pockets, that is the stuff that dreams are made of!
This may be a tenuous link, but it makes me think of the old fish joke: Two young fish swim by an older fish. The older fish says, 'Morning, boys, how's the water?' The two young fish swim on, and eventually one turns to the other and says, 'What the hell is water?'
The moth in your story is like the fish; the artificial lightbulb is the 'dirty water'. It's so hard to even be aware of the water, or the 'reality' we exhibit. We often don't notice that artificial lightbulb (social ideals, performance), and lose our shadow, authentic self, and the subtle light of the moon and stars.
The link isn’t tenuous at all Jeff. The self is the real world we inhabit. What we call ‘the world’ is mostly its projection. Yet we inhabit the world believing it to be concrete and force the self to adjust to it instead.
You didn’t just turn off a porch light. You turned off the projector of illusion. You set the moth free, and in doing so, offered us all a way out of the fluorescent trap of curated lives and sanitized spiritualities.
The moth wasn’t lost. It was disoriented by a counterfeit sun. Just like the rest of us. You remembered what most forget. Real vision begins when your eyes adjust to the dark.
May we all have the courage to stop chasing brightness and instead walk barefoot into our shadowed garden, where the stars are still speaking.
Beautiful. Thank you!
Wow! To transform a lost moth into a metaphor for the modern human condition is brilliant.
What came to me was how our attempts at "enlightenment" may be blinding us from our goal. Perhaps that is just another 'porch light' distracting us from our shadowy wisdom?
Yes John. Enlightenment is not reaching for the light but rather entering the darkness and revealing the light inherent in all things.
That sounds like a haiku, but rings true to me.
Thank you for your insights. It reminds me of work I have yet to do. On a more mundane level, with the introduction of LED public lighting there are no more dark nights for anybody.
There is always the woods… 🌳
As long as the woods are at least fifty miles from a residential area...
Sorry, this is one of my hobby-horses. It's almost as if those in charge want to kill the human religious instinct by despoiling the grandeur and awesomeness of the nigh sky.
Gracias SHIV. Mirar nuestra fascinación por las luces exteriores, mirar cómo le entregamos todo el poder de nuestra atención a la ilusión de los fuegos artificiales del mundo, mirar y mirar, hasta darnos cuenta que la Vida solo espera que le demos nuestro consentimiento, que le digamos que “Si” a su vasta plenitud de luces y sombras, de noches y días Gracias 🙏🏼
beautiful analogy. And so vulnerable, honest, and raw. this one feels unique in a different way because you openly confessed personal things - some of which I immediately recognized that I experienced and experience too.
I bow to you sir
Welcoming and meeting our shadows with open an open heart ..this ❤
Meeting our shadows with open arms...❤
Please find an Illuminated Understanding of Conscious Light via this reference:
http://www.integralworld.net/reynolds18.html
The Radiant being Who inspired the contents of this reference pointed out that we are genetically programmed to Incarnate this Conscious Light.
Plus http://www.dabase.org/hardware.htm
Thank you Zippy for sharing these articles.