I think about death a lot… I’m the child of a French Jewish holocaust survivor and grew up with my surviving grandparents as well. Death was a constant topic of conversation growing up. As an adult, I lost my brother to suicide and my beloved partner to cancer and my parents, 11 months apart, to old age. Death is my constant companion. Or maybe dying is… as I grow older and continue my equestrian activities, I think about my own death. I hope it’s quick . I imagine that it’s like a switch into total nothingness. So while I finally am content in my life , missing it doesn’t feel like an option in death. I don’t KNOW what it will be like. All I know is that it’s coming for me at some point. Might as well live for the curiosity until then.
I have a painting of thenatos, Greek god of death next to my desk (I got it soon after an almost freak accident at the gym when a barbell fell on the back of my head).
Death is depicted as such a bad, evil force, but in that painting, he is directing butterflies moving in a dance like flow. Coincidentally, it turns out that the artist painted it the same year my younger brother died after he OD’d. I ended up in the hospital, but he didn’t make it. I’ve had many near death moments. I always took my life for granted.
I am grateful for having existed and been aware of it. To have known someone like you. For there to be something rather than nothing.
Dying suddenly today and dying at 80 from a terminal illness are profoundly different experiences—let’s be real. The sad reality is that, as a society, we still view death as inherently bad. When the body fails, and pain and suffering escalate daily, our only answer tends to be painkillers to dull the experience until the body shuts down entirely.
I want to die on my own terms, with dignity intact. I don't want to linger in a state of existence with no quality of life, essentially a vegetable waiting for the inevitable. Hospice work, in this sense, is truly enlightened—it requires immense compassion to care for people in such a vulnerable state, whether they’re praying to God for more time or begging for it all to end.
I also remember the term "ego death," and while it's a powerful metaphor, I find it flawed. The ego never truly "dies"; it's an intrinsic part of the human experience, a passenger we carry throughout this journey.
This really reoriented my mind today, I have been filled with nihilistic thoughts and lamenting on the utter hopelessness of it all, the futility, but yes there are miracles everywhere if we allow our minds to see them
I think about death a lot… I’m the child of a French Jewish holocaust survivor and grew up with my surviving grandparents as well. Death was a constant topic of conversation growing up. As an adult, I lost my brother to suicide and my beloved partner to cancer and my parents, 11 months apart, to old age. Death is my constant companion. Or maybe dying is… as I grow older and continue my equestrian activities, I think about my own death. I hope it’s quick . I imagine that it’s like a switch into total nothingness. So while I finally am content in my life , missing it doesn’t feel like an option in death. I don’t KNOW what it will be like. All I know is that it’s coming for me at some point. Might as well live for the curiosity until then.
beautiful.
I have a painting of thenatos, Greek god of death next to my desk (I got it soon after an almost freak accident at the gym when a barbell fell on the back of my head).
Death is depicted as such a bad, evil force, but in that painting, he is directing butterflies moving in a dance like flow. Coincidentally, it turns out that the artist painted it the same year my younger brother died after he OD’d. I ended up in the hospital, but he didn’t make it. I’ve had many near death moments. I always took my life for granted.
I am grateful for having existed and been aware of it. To have known someone like you. For there to be something rather than nothing.
Beautiful..this practice has helped me pull o worst days too thanks you for sharing
Dying suddenly today and dying at 80 from a terminal illness are profoundly different experiences—let’s be real. The sad reality is that, as a society, we still view death as inherently bad. When the body fails, and pain and suffering escalate daily, our only answer tends to be painkillers to dull the experience until the body shuts down entirely.
I want to die on my own terms, with dignity intact. I don't want to linger in a state of existence with no quality of life, essentially a vegetable waiting for the inevitable. Hospice work, in this sense, is truly enlightened—it requires immense compassion to care for people in such a vulnerable state, whether they’re praying to God for more time or begging for it all to end.
I also remember the term "ego death," and while it's a powerful metaphor, I find it flawed. The ego never truly "dies"; it's an intrinsic part of the human experience, a passenger we carry throughout this journey.
This helped me lighten so many burdens and led to a lot of light. Thank you.
This really reoriented my mind today, I have been filled with nihilistic thoughts and lamenting on the utter hopelessness of it all, the futility, but yes there are miracles everywhere if we allow our minds to see them