This is so clarifying as a definition of equanimity, "Equanimity for the spiritually mature has nothing to do with how it appears. The word equanimity derives from the latin - aequanimitas - which is composed of the words aequus (equal) and animus (spirit - ‘that which animates’). In other words, true equanimity is the capacity to perceive the spirit in all things and all experiences equally."
Thank you for this. This explains why I see the magic of "that which animates" everywhere and, yet, in my daily life, I still sometimes get angry, I'm still sometimes an asshole. Those are not "good" of course, but I see now that it isn't really reasonable to expect to ALWAYS be calm, loving, peaceful, etc, at least not while in human bodies.
Interestingly, this makes me think the biblical term, "iniquity," which means "unequal" would be the opposite: it would be NOT perceiving the spirit in all things (and thus opening the door for "sin.").
Thank you so much for your writing. Worth every penny.
Yes for me recognizing 'that which animates' as also animating the anger and the assholery was a game-changer. I realized if its all spirit then who I am to gatekeep which animations get to stay and which get excluded. I do not create them then why take on the responsibility of censoring them? As you said that doesn't justify the anger - but it doesn't negate it either. Besides if joy needs no justification why would anger?
I'm learning that there is no problem with anger or really any emotion. Where I feel I "fail" still is allowing that anger to take control of my actions, ie "acting out" my anger in a way that is damaging to myself and my loved ones. When I am able to just FEEL the anger, and see that it animates, and then make a rational decision of what to do next (which often is do nothing), then everything is fine. When I allow my mind to spiral into stories upon stories and start yelling, accusing, etc, well, that's a "fail" when I damage relationships that, in my right mind, I don't want to damage.
My own approach when something like anger is not just felt but also acted out in some damaging way - is to notice that anger is generating that behavior. I don’t develop a meta narrative of failure because that codifies the anger and elevates its form over its spirit.
I trust that the pattern recognizing intelligence within me will - after however many iterations of noticing anger in this way - will eventually realize that such reactivity is a suboptimal response and build new neural pathways that respond differently. Intellectual acknowledgement alone is insufficient. And willpower is a fallacy.
Yet also notice the irony that “I shouldn’t call it failure” is just another version of “I shouldn’t react with anger”. If calling it a failure happens - then even that is simply noticed. 🙂
I spent all of 2025 as a spiritual adolescent but feel like I am slowly easing into the adulthood stage now. Politics and the news no longer ruffle my feathers like they used too which is a big sign of growth to me. I just don't take anything too personally anymore. My growing confidence that I will act in alignment with my beliefs regardless of the actions of others and my external circumstances is very freeing. I can't control the world, but by managing my own emotions better the world has become progressively easier to tolerate with each passing day. Foregrounding forgiveness and understanding at all times is way easier now than it was a year ago . Things were pretty messy at first because my initial enlightenment experience was unintentional/drug induced and pretty destabilizing to my sense of self looking back but I rode it out and kept practicing and it all feels so much easier now.
First - got to appreciate reductionalism where it works - love the four stages of maturity.
I'm curious, where do you see the Buddhist concept of "rising and passing?" Is this a transitionary between maturity stages, or something like a temporary awakening?
What I think you are referring to is seeing ‘Annica’ (Impermanence) as the nature of all things.
This realization of impermanence is ever deepening as one spiritually matures. At first it is merely an intellectual realization. In spiritual infancy we like to wax eloquent about impermanence but it is just a concept.
In adolescence as the first fractures in our own spiritual identity and trust in belief systems appear - this impermanence takes on the form of the crumbling attachment to external authorities that we once relied so heavily upon. And the loss of a tribal identity as we reject communal norms.
In adulthood - impermanence takes on a new hue - the loss of spiritual romanticism. Grieving the demise of the extraordinary and embracing the ordinary. Impermanence becomes a daily realization here.
In elderhood - impermanence is the loss of the separate self as standing apart from life altogether. The impermanence of not just beliefs, relationships and people - but each moment that comes into existence and fades is palpably felt. Impermanence which was once a concept, then an insight, then an embodied realization - now becomes a lived reality.
Hmm… some of us have been aware of impermanence our whole lives and as we continue to live longer (as grandmothers are designed to do to help with raising the next generations) this amazing temporary coalescence in consciousness opens itself to being even more extraordinary than we discovered upon separation from the womb… life itself in these two legged human bodies is a pretty amazing on this extraordinary water world whether on the red road of manifestation or on the blue of spirit, all our comings & goings & transformations through various experiences of TIME - the moment by moment exoeiehce that allow us a “lifetime” out of eternity - thnx to MaKali, the dreamer Shiva’s other half that among many societal codes, also allows concepts beyond typical western fear based spirituality or one can look into many First Nation indigenous cultures on this continent alone for yet other understandings of our world 🌬️♥️♥️
Thank you for deep and thoughtful response on Annica, I like how the thread of maturity phases holds insights into these concepts. I was referring to phase Udayabbaya Nana, if you have more time to generously share 🙏🏻
This is so clarifying as a definition of equanimity, "Equanimity for the spiritually mature has nothing to do with how it appears. The word equanimity derives from the latin - aequanimitas - which is composed of the words aequus (equal) and animus (spirit - ‘that which animates’). In other words, true equanimity is the capacity to perceive the spirit in all things and all experiences equally."
Thank you for this. This explains why I see the magic of "that which animates" everywhere and, yet, in my daily life, I still sometimes get angry, I'm still sometimes an asshole. Those are not "good" of course, but I see now that it isn't really reasonable to expect to ALWAYS be calm, loving, peaceful, etc, at least not while in human bodies.
Interestingly, this makes me think the biblical term, "iniquity," which means "unequal" would be the opposite: it would be NOT perceiving the spirit in all things (and thus opening the door for "sin.").
Thank you so much for your writing. Worth every penny.
Yes for me recognizing 'that which animates' as also animating the anger and the assholery was a game-changer. I realized if its all spirit then who I am to gatekeep which animations get to stay and which get excluded. I do not create them then why take on the responsibility of censoring them? As you said that doesn't justify the anger - but it doesn't negate it either. Besides if joy needs no justification why would anger?
I'm learning that there is no problem with anger or really any emotion. Where I feel I "fail" still is allowing that anger to take control of my actions, ie "acting out" my anger in a way that is damaging to myself and my loved ones. When I am able to just FEEL the anger, and see that it animates, and then make a rational decision of what to do next (which often is do nothing), then everything is fine. When I allow my mind to spiral into stories upon stories and start yelling, accusing, etc, well, that's a "fail" when I damage relationships that, in my right mind, I don't want to damage.
My own approach when something like anger is not just felt but also acted out in some damaging way - is to notice that anger is generating that behavior. I don’t develop a meta narrative of failure because that codifies the anger and elevates its form over its spirit.
I trust that the pattern recognizing intelligence within me will - after however many iterations of noticing anger in this way - will eventually realize that such reactivity is a suboptimal response and build new neural pathways that respond differently. Intellectual acknowledgement alone is insufficient. And willpower is a fallacy.
Yes, that type of response is what I’m “working” toward. You are right that I shouldn’t call it a failure.
Yet also notice the irony that “I shouldn’t call it failure” is just another version of “I shouldn’t react with anger”. If calling it a failure happens - then even that is simply noticed. 🙂
I spent all of 2025 as a spiritual adolescent but feel like I am slowly easing into the adulthood stage now. Politics and the news no longer ruffle my feathers like they used too which is a big sign of growth to me. I just don't take anything too personally anymore. My growing confidence that I will act in alignment with my beliefs regardless of the actions of others and my external circumstances is very freeing. I can't control the world, but by managing my own emotions better the world has become progressively easier to tolerate with each passing day. Foregrounding forgiveness and understanding at all times is way easier now than it was a year ago . Things were pretty messy at first because my initial enlightenment experience was unintentional/drug induced and pretty destabilizing to my sense of self looking back but I rode it out and kept practicing and it all feels so much easier now.
I so appreciate your openness here. I feel like I am simultaneously at multiple phases here - like an inner child is still at their spiritual infancy.
There's no rush, enjoy the ride at each phase 😇
"near-life experience" indeed! 🤣🥰 Ty for that!
Dear Shiv,
Great piece as always!
I love this: "I often refer to awakening as a ‘near-life experience’."
Thank you for sharing!
Love
Myq
First - got to appreciate reductionalism where it works - love the four stages of maturity.
I'm curious, where do you see the Buddhist concept of "rising and passing?" Is this a transitionary between maturity stages, or something like a temporary awakening?
What I think you are referring to is seeing ‘Annica’ (Impermanence) as the nature of all things.
This realization of impermanence is ever deepening as one spiritually matures. At first it is merely an intellectual realization. In spiritual infancy we like to wax eloquent about impermanence but it is just a concept.
In adolescence as the first fractures in our own spiritual identity and trust in belief systems appear - this impermanence takes on the form of the crumbling attachment to external authorities that we once relied so heavily upon. And the loss of a tribal identity as we reject communal norms.
In adulthood - impermanence takes on a new hue - the loss of spiritual romanticism. Grieving the demise of the extraordinary and embracing the ordinary. Impermanence becomes a daily realization here.
In elderhood - impermanence is the loss of the separate self as standing apart from life altogether. The impermanence of not just beliefs, relationships and people - but each moment that comes into existence and fades is palpably felt. Impermanence which was once a concept, then an insight, then an embodied realization - now becomes a lived reality.
Feels as if I’m between an adult and an elder, but sometimes I just don’t give a f*** about any of it anymore
Hmm… some of us have been aware of impermanence our whole lives and as we continue to live longer (as grandmothers are designed to do to help with raising the next generations) this amazing temporary coalescence in consciousness opens itself to being even more extraordinary than we discovered upon separation from the womb… life itself in these two legged human bodies is a pretty amazing on this extraordinary water world whether on the red road of manifestation or on the blue of spirit, all our comings & goings & transformations through various experiences of TIME - the moment by moment exoeiehce that allow us a “lifetime” out of eternity - thnx to MaKali, the dreamer Shiva’s other half that among many societal codes, also allows concepts beyond typical western fear based spirituality or one can look into many First Nation indigenous cultures on this continent alone for yet other understandings of our world 🌬️♥️♥️
exoeiehce <— not a word but some weird auto correct of experience? lol
Thank you for deep and thoughtful response on Annica, I like how the thread of maturity phases holds insights into these concepts. I was referring to phase Udayabbaya Nana, if you have more time to generously share 🙏🏻